She's My Favorite Girl

I'll always love my mama
She's my favorite girl
I'll always love my mama
She brought me in this world...
(Talking 'bout mama)Oh, she's one of a kind
(Talking 'bout mama)You got yours, and I got mine
(Talking 'bout mama)Ah, Hey mamaHey mamaMy heart belongs to you
Oh, yeah
(1973 by the Intruders)

I love my mom but she can really work a nerve. This year for lent my mom decides she is going to try to give up/cut back/stop smoking.
Sidebar: she has been smoking since she was 14.
To help her with this process, she challenges me to loose this 10 pounds I've been trying to get off forever. I'm like cool, okay let's do it. Mind you I would have agreed to loose 50 pounds in 40 days if it meant she would quit smoking. I was a bit surprised by her request but happy that finally she has decided to try to stop. I've been trying since I can remember to get her to quit, but she kept puffing away until now.

Well as you know we are now several days away from Easter and the deadline for both of us. Now I know for sure my mom hasn't completely stopped smoking. She has cut back, she is down to about 2 cigarettes a day. I guess that's good. She claims it is huge for her. Okay I 'll give her that. I'm down a good solid 6 pounds. That's pretty good - all the "experts" say you should lose more than 1-2 pounds a week for healthy weight loss. So really I'm right on target and feeling pretty happy with myself. I thought about using some of those weight loss supplement but decided against it. I put the weight on the old fashion way - I'm gonna lose it the old fashion way. LOL.

But back to my moms. Today we are talking on the phone as we always do (about nothing important). She brings me up to speed on my sorry ass family. Yeah Royce's Daughter, I got some too.
When she says to me, "so how's your diet coming along?"

Me, "Good, I lost 6 pounds."
I'm all happy about myself, smiling, dancing around my kitchen and issh.

Mom, "That's it? What about the other four?"
DAMN, I'm thinking to myself. Can a sista, your child, get a little respect?

Me, "Well don't you think that me loosing 6 is better than nothing?"

Mom, "Easter is this Sunday, how are you going to lose the other four."

Me, " Well thanks for the words of encouragement. You sure didn't even focus on the positive that I lost 6. All you focused on was me needing to lose four more. So you still smoking aren't you?"

Mom, "Yup, but it's not Sunday."
Damn her and smart mouth. I can't stand her sometimes.

Me, "Oh okay, umm hmm."

Now I'm pissed. She doesn't even see that she was dead wrong in her approach to be encouraging. For real my mom is the worst saboteur when it came to doing this. She would call me and say things like, "oh I made spaghetti (or some other food that I like), I packed some up for you to come and get on your way home from work." Now I told her do not offer me any goodies cause I'm being good with what I'm eating. She'd ignore me. The worst was one Sunday I went over her house after church (she lives right next door to our church - a sin), she has this big ole casserole dish of macaroni and cheese. My weakness (even thought mine tastes better than hers, hers is still pretty darn good!).
I say to her, "now you know I can't have none of that."

Mom, "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot."

Now she knows damn well she didn't forget.

Me, "Yeah I've been pretty good this week. I don't want to mess it up with eating mac and cheese."

Mom, "well you can have a little taste can't you?"

What kind of hell question is that? No I can't have just a little taste damn it. I'm on this diet to try and lose some weight and help you quit smoking and this is what I get.

Me, "no I can't have a little taste. What is a tablespoonful gonna do except make me want some more."

She is completely ignoring me by this point. She is in the kitchen getting out her tupperware and spooning mac and cheese in a bowl. I can't believe my frikin eyes. I don't know why I'm surprised, she has done this before, when I was trying to lose the same 10 pounds after a breakup I had (but that is another story for another day). She tried to make me feel better by feeding me all my favorite foods.
sidebar: I took home the mac and cheese and ate as my dinner. I tried to be strong but it was callin me, callin me "Phoenix, Phoenix". LOL

Oh but back to today. She tried to clean up her statement by saying, "oh you know what I meant. Your 6 will become 10 and you will feel better when you start to see results." Now did she even ask me have I seen results - no. But I have. She is a mess. Sometimes I wonder about her. She can be so well intending but say some harsh issh. I think it's only to me. My sister never tells me that my mom says stuff to her like she says to me. Damn that is f-up. Thank God I'm not thin skinned. I would be messed up in the head by my own momma. I ended the conversations by telling her I love her but I had to go. She was wreaking my mood.

Lesson of this story: don't take bets with your mom, even if it is to help her out.