A conversation

Today I was driving home and I was on the cell talking to my "jump off". Yeah I have a friend who has benefits. Whatever, don't be rolling eyes at me. I already know it is not an ideal situation but it is what it is and until someone comes along that make me want to commit fully, then this will be my guilty pleasure. Oh but back to what we were talking about.

We were talking about being in love (not with each other) and having your heart broken. Does anyone out there know what I'm talkin bout? Can I get an AMEN if you've been there. But anywho - this cat is one of they most nonemotional people I know. But here he was talking about how he had his heart broken in college. Damn, I thinking it must have been pretty funny cause Dude rarely shows his sensitive side. He was saying how he was getting his act together and this girl (a Delta - go soror) stepped all over his poor little heart. So I ask has he ever been in love since. Nope he replies and doesn't think that he will. That's a damn shame I'm thinking to myself. But then I rethink that thought cause I've had my heart broken and I say the same stupid thing, "Hell no I ain't never gonna let somebody get that close enough so that they can break my heart". I'm a liar - I hope that I do love someone so deeply again that they could break my heart. That is the best kind of love - when you love deep. I said deep not stupid, okay. So for those of you out there try love and love deep okay.

Oh so back to the conversation. We both realize that this is a topic we don't want to discuss with each other and change the subject. It gets changed to "one night stands." Yeah the other end of the spectrum. Now if you never had a one night stand - I recommend it to everyone. Now I'm not saying have them all the time, but I think everyone should at least experience it once. Let me be clear with what I'm saying to you - at least ONCE. This don't mean go out and pick up the first guy/girl you meet. It should be someone you are acquainted with and are attracted to - please. Yes I've had my one night stand and let's just say it was a very nice experience and I'm glad I did it. I felt empowered because if I wanted to, I could have kept seeing the brotha. But I never set out to have a relationship with him. I wanted to see what he was working with. Sista's yall know damn well there is some guy out there who you know you want to see what he is working with. Ooo the flash back is making me smile. But since I'm all grown up now, I'm looking for a meaningful relationship with a man who is intelligent, far from crazy, employed (legally), handsome, got his own place, his own ride, and his own money (not asking to borrow some from me) and can blow my back out and make my eyes cross.

So my "friend with benefits" says he can completely relate to what I'm saying from a dudes perspective. He cosigns on my opinion. Funny we can talk like that and not get our situation all twisted. However I'm sure he has had more than 1 one night stand. He begins to tell me a few stories. I'm amused - sounds like the average black man. All I can hope for the both of us, is that one day we both find that special somebody whether for one night or for eternity.

We end our conversation cause I'm home by this point. We say our good byes...:-)