For Royce's Daughter

From the Beginning


Although it didn’t always seem like it, I loved you from the beginning. Remember when we were kids, you use to pull my braids and tease me and I’d cry. Then you would start to cry when I ran out ran you. It seemed I hated you but I loved you.

Then we grew a bit older. The other boys called you a sissy because you played with me. I hated them for teasing you. Then you began to play with them, leaving me to watch from the top porch step. I hated you for that you were my best friend.

Before you knew it, we were teens. You stopped being just the boy next door, but the cute boy next door. I loved you even though you voice was cracking. It sounded perfect to me. I thought you felt the same way, but it seemed that Yolanda from math class won your affections.

Yeah – high school I dated a few guys and you never once appeared to be jealous. We even went on a double date. When I tried my best to flirt with you, you laughed at me. I hated you because my love for you seemed undying.

Finally I thought I could get over you when we went to college. You got a football scholarship to UNC and I went to Howard. The distance wasn’t enough. Memories and old pictures kept you ever so close. I wished for the opportunity to tell you I loved you so many times.

The chance I waited for finally cane one summer break. You came over to talk about college. I was prepared to interrupt you. When I tried, you told me it was rude to interrupt someone. Especially when they are trying to tell the other person they’ve always loved them. Remember you then kissed me and walked out the house. I tried to call you back but I could hardly breath. I thought I’d tell you later how I felt, but later never came. You were murdered that evening in a cross fire between some kids as you came out of the store. So if you are listening and I know you are – I always loved you from the beginning.